I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
