I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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