Where did you get a picture of my penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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