He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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