Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
