party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
