This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
