Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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