have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
