so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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