my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
