found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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