im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
