Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
