If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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