you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
