$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
