they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I checked into jail on foursquare
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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