I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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