He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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