if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
