Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
