in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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