bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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