is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
