how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
