if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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