i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
