Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
