New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
