Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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