How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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