just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
