Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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