i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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