I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I cockslap morals
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
