It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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