My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
pray to the hookup gods
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
