Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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