i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
