I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
