He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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