Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
