we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
