I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
