someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
