i just wanna soil my oats bro
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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