It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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