I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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