I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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