i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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